Looking Back...and Moving Forward

That’s it. I’m just going to say it.

I’m not sure that I’m ready for 2009 to be over.

This has been one stellar year.

For 8 months, I was engaged, planned a wedding, and spent special wedding-related moments with friends and my family, and with my fiancé. I graduated from Mizzou, and thus closed a wonderful four-year chapter of my life. I moved out of my first apartment, and found a new one in St. Louis where Bobby and I are starting a new chapter together.

And then there was a wedding! (Oh, that wedding….)

And a honeymoon!

And a move, and a new city, and a new job!

For 4 months, I’ve been a wife! And Bobby and I have settled comfortably into the last part of 2009.

Does it get much better?

It’s not that I don’t want the New Year to arrive; I just don’t want to say goodbye to what has been a beautiful, exciting, life-changing year. But, life just keeps happening, doesn’t it? 2010 is coming. And, I’m prepared for that. There really are so many other beautiful things that are to come, in the coming year…in the coming decade!

A few things I am already looking forward to in the coming year:

· Celebrating our 1^st married Valentine’s Day, and our sixth anniversary of “togetherness”

· Celebrating our 24^th birthdays

· Trips to Springfield

· Summer in St. Louis

· Visits from loved ones to our home

· Becoming involved at our new church

· Hearing about friends’ wedding planning

· A trip to Minnesota

· Kelsey’s wedding

· A vacation to somewhere

· Celebrating our first anniversary!

Tonight Bobby and I are going to make a list together of our favorite moments and memories from 2009 (his idea!), and I’m curious to see what makes Bobby’s list. There is much to look back on and smile about. And, if this little activity tonight becomes a tradition, I know that our list from 2010 will be a lengthy one, too. And that’s because we love life! We make our years together great, full of “little moments” and joy and laughter. If there are no major life milestones for us in 2010 as there were in 2009, that’s okay. I’m excited to grow in our “everyday love”, and settle into 2010 as husband and wife, continually exploring what that means…in our new city, our new home, our new church, and our new life.

I will always look back on 2009 with a smile, and thankfulness for the time of celebration that it was. But, here comes 2010! I’m ready. It’s a gift! And, it’s going to be great. My resolution? To recognize daily the little moments that will make it that way.

Together.

It’s happened again! Another engagement! Another bride-to-be!

My dear cousin, Kelsey, accepted (or, as I understand it, more specifically said “Yes! Yes yes yes! Yes!”) to Jared Bethune’s proposal on December 21^st, under a street light and a starry winter sky. It sounded perfectly romantic, and I’m sure that it was just that.

Kelsey and I have always shared a fun connection, despite the distance that separates us and the lengthy time between our face-to-face visits. Our personalities (and the stories of our romances) are quite similar, and those similarities are part of what makes me so excited for all that she will experience in the months ahead.

Kelsey has waited a very long time for this point in their relationship. And, I can absolutely relate. Like Jared and Kelsey, Bobby and I dated for several years before getting married, including all throughout college, and when I graduated in May, the wedding was mere months later. Planning and organizing is in our blood, and like Kelsey, I was beyond thrilled for (and actually, motivated and energized by) all of the planning, organizing and busy-ness that comes with being engaged.

It’s amusing to hear about her engagement and celebrations to come and think “Hey! That was me this time one year ago!” Her 2010 will be my 2009! Life is such fun.

As Kelsey described her new engagement ring in a blog of her own, she said “He picked out the most PERFECT ring & isn't just me, or my style. It's us.” I love that description. “It’s us.” The ring is certainly more than a gift to the bride; it is symbolic of the pair. It can be a beautiful illustration of the love of the couple. And, Kelsey has wisely chosen to recognize it as such. Good for her. My prayer is that that wisdom will continue as they plan their wedding day, and their marriage, as well.

I like to think that Bobby and I enjoyed a perfect wedding day built together, and that it was truly a reflection of our love story, with God as the Author. I believe that we’re doing that as we build our marriage, too. How beautiful (and fun!) it is to plan for not only a day, but also a lifetime, TOGETHER.

Kelsey (far-left) and a few of the cousins at my wedding in August.

(Notice how she coordinated her outfit for the occasion? Yep, she's good.)

I absolutely admire the woman that Kelsey has become, and the cousin (and the avid planner!) in me cannot wait to hear all about the stories, stresses, and surprises that come their way as they move toward their “big day”. If anyone can design a beautiful wedding, Kelsey (and Jared) can. I have yet to meet Jared, but I have a feeling that the two of them, together, can create a beautiful marriage, too.

Congratulations to the future

Mr. and Mrs. Bethune!

Happy planning!

A "Big" Moment!

Yesterday morning, I got a call from one of my best friends.

She had big news; she’s ENGAGED!

Ashley is a dear friend, and the closest friend that I have ever had to be in this position. I cannot express how thrilled I am for her and for her fiancé (!!!), Matt. Her phone call brought tears to my eyes, both out of excitement for her, and because of the memories that her experience brought back of my own engagement. This is such a special time of celebration for her. I clearly remember the indescribable joy and anticipation that I felt at this time one year ago. I could not be happier that she gets to experience that.

I have not been this excited in a long time. Certainly not since my own wedding! And, to be truthful, I think it’s been a far longer time that I’ve felt such sincere and overwhelming excitement for someone else.

Bobby and I have had our “big” moments for a while. We got engaged. We got married. We moved to a new city. We got new jobs. We are settling into our “new” life together. It’s easy to imagine what our next “big” moments might be. We’ll buy a house. We’ll have a baby…okay, make that plural…babies.

But, it’s not time for those things yet. Which has made me, a “keep going”, “move on to the next thing” type-girl, a little uncertain about this in-between phase of our lives.

Ashley’s engagement news brought such joy to my day, and while I was dancing around the apartment yesterday morning in excitement (really, I did), I realized that this is an example of the next “big” moment…and it’s not mine. And, that’s more than okay!

It became clear somewhere in the middle of listening to “My Girl” and “Just the Way You Look Tonight”, that this in-between time for Bobby and I will be time spent celebrating some “big” moments for our best friends. It’s their turn! And, you can bet that we will be happily celebrating with each of them as they enjoy all of the fun and joy that comes with their engagements, their weddings, their jobs, and their marriages…just as they have in celebrating ours.

Congratulations, to the future Mr. and Mrs. Tramm!

May the months ahead be full of much joy and much celebration of these big moments of yours!

Ashley and I at my wedding. What a beautiful bride SHE will be!

"No-Shave November"

Bobby is (as many men these days seem to be) participating in “No-Shave November”, an unofficial month-long “celebration”, undoubtedly created by a significant other-less male.

This is not the first time Bobby has recognized this seemingly national event. I’ve come to expect it, although for some reason, I must have imagined that marriage would change his desire to participate.

I thought wrong, and I really should have known better.

Bobby is fourteen days into growing what has the potential to be another awe-inspiring beard/mustache combo. I’ve seen what that facial hair can do when left unattended. One can’t help but be impressed! I don’t blame him for wanting to show it off…or, for finding an excuse to avoid the bothersome task of shaving.

As Bobby pointed out the other day (in an effort to convince me that his hair growth was desirable), “a lot of great men have had beards at this point in their lives! My dad…your dad…me!” He’s got me there. (And, I’ll admit. It was kind of a handsome, rugged look…a couple weeks ago. Now, it’s just itchy.)

Recognizing “No-Shave November” in the Phillips household may be here to stay. I’ve only one option that may help to lessen its appeal. My strategy?

Participation.

One of Bobby's most impressive hair growth efforts, from earlier this year.

(That man...gotta love him!)

Icing

Two Fridays ago, I got my first “big girl” check. My first 40 hours a week (x 2), “I could actually do something significant with this amount of money” (“I could do something significant with the amount of money going to taxes….”), working-woman check. It felt good.

As I was driving home from work that night, I got teary-eyed, thinking about what a check like that could mean for so many families. Bobby and I already have a roof over our heads, food on the table, and a cozy bed to crawl into every night. We have transportation to work, and if we get sick, there is money in the bank to make sure that we’re taken care of. We both have jobs now, and we aren’t dependent on my paycheck. The reality is, that it’s just icing on the cake! Things could be a lot different; they are for a lot of people. We are blessed.

Of course, the money will come in handy for us, too. It already has! Last weekend we bought nightstands, lamps, and curtains for the bedroom, and it all looks great. Our apartment is slowly feeling more and more like home. Someday, we’ll be able to buy a house, and create another home of our own, because of saving checks like this one.

Still, I hope that I can always recognize all of the “icing” that we enjoy, appreciating the material extras in my life for the blessings that they truly are.

Two Months

Bobby and I have now been married for two months, plus a few days. I’ve been thinking a lot about the past several weeks we’ve had, getting to know each other in a completely different way than we have before.

We share meals together. We share a home together. We’re sharing life together.

Below are some of the many observations I’ve had, reflecting on our first weeks of marriage.

· Not having to say “goodbye” at the end of the day is a wonderful thing.

· Bobby’s side of the closet smells absolutely fantastic.

· I need more room for ironing dress shirts.

· I can cut Bobby’s hair! It saves money, and he looks so handsome.

· Having only one television means lots of compromise. Lots.

· We said “goodnight” on the phone the same way every night for 5+ years before we were married. We still say “goodnight” in person the same way. It’s cute.

· Surprising Bobby with a meal that he doesn’t think he’ll like…and then does… is really fun.

· Cooking and cleaning for us brings me a lot of joy. And, I know I’m going to love being a mom someday.

· Boys and girls do things differently. It’s as simple (and as complicated) as that.

· Morning breath is no fun for anyone.

· We can’t have dessert every night, or we’ll both look a lot different this time next year.

· Being married to a lifelong athlete is a great way to be held accountable to working out. And, we have been!

· Bobby keeps me laughing. And that is a blessing for which I am going to be thankful for many years.

· Sharing a bed is a skill that takes time to master.

· Keeping track of our finances and budget in Quicken is surprisingly enjoyable.

· Seeing Bobby walk through the door after work is my favorite part of the day.

It’s new! It’s fun! It’s challenging! And, I love it.

Finding Contentment

I’ve always done best when I have a project. My mom shared this observation with me a while ago, and in the past several weeks of having little to do, I have had a lot of time to reflect and recognize that she is absolutely right. (Mom usually is.)

College is over, the wedding planning is through, the apartment is as organized and decorated as it can be (for now), and I am unemployed…and bored. I’m ready for another project! A job…a house…a baby. (Okay, I’m not quite ready for that last one.)

Mom also pointed out that for the past 23 years, I have been “going”. For me to find myself in this period of feeling as though I’m not, well, “going” anywhere is difficult.

I’m struggling to find contentment.

And, I’ve struggled before. I spent a lot of my childhood wanting to be “grown-up”, and during that time I think I may have missed some of the fun parts that come along with growing up. I don’t regret my childhood (or acting like a thirty-something in middle school), but I do recognize that my discontent with being young may not have allowed me to fully enjoy the youthful season I was in.

And, I know from experience that a lot of good can come from being content and finding beauty in the present. Although it was difficult at times to wait so long to marry Bobby, we enjoyed our five-plus years of dating and patiently anticipating the “big day”. We valued that time, and learned a lot about ourselves and each other and what it means to love during those years. Being content with that season made being engaged (and now, being married) that much more special when it finally came along.

I need to remind myself that I am still “going”. I’m going to have a job. I’m going to have a house. I’m going to have a baby. (Someday. Not now. I truly hope this sentence doesn’t get taken out of context.) I’ve been told that this season of my life is likely to be short-lived, and that I will look back on this time wishing for it again. I don’t doubt it. My “job” right now, I’m convinced, is to learn to be content and enjoy this “in-between” season for the blessing that it is. That might be a big enough project in itself.

Romans 1:20

"For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities

-his eternal power and divine nature-

have been clearly seen,

being understood from what has been made,

so that men are without excuse."

Romans 1:20

Glowing, Glowing...Gone

Friday night was the first opportunity that Bobby and I have had to explore St. Louis and go out on the town. So, we prepared ourselves for a fun evening at Forest Park, taking in the festivities of the “balloon glow” to be held that evening, an aspect of the famous hot air balloon race to take place the following day. That evening, the balloons were to be lit and inflated for spectators to see; it sounded like a good idea to be among them.

We were not the only ones with this idea. We left our apartment at 7:10 p.m. for what we thought was to be a 25-minute drive to the park. We did not get out of our cars until 8:40 p.m., after driving ever so slowly for miles and miles, and finally navigating our way to a parking spot at the festival. Mind you, the balloons were only to be lit until 8:30 p.m. By this point, we were overwhelmed by the traffic and frustrated for missing it all, thinking, “maybe we’ll at least make it in time for the fireworks at 9:00 p.m.”.

The park was swarming with people headed in every direction. It was dark. We had no idea where we should have been heading and didn’t see any signage for this particular event. Although we had wanted to quit the little adventure we were having far earlier, we had come too far to turn around.

We spotted a group of people who looked like they knew where they were going. Off we went, following closely behind this group along a dark forest path, the little boy ahead of us lighting the way with his glowing light saber. About 7 minutes later we realized that they did know where they were going. They knew exactly how to get to…their cars. The little boy said to his dad, “I want to go home”, to which his dad replied, “we are”. Bobby and I stopped simultaneously, turned toward each other, and realized that we had to turn around, in the midst of all these people, and go back the other way. What a night. It was comedic, really! We should have known. Most people don’t carry souvenir glow sticks INTO an event.

We kept walking, and did find the balloon glow, although by 8:57 p.m. there was little glow left. We sat down just in time to enjoy the brief, albeit beautiful, fireworks display.

We were back in our cars by 9:17 p.m., a mere 37 minutes after arriving. Traffic was like nothing we’d ever seen, and we crawled, if moving at all, for 43 minutes, just trying to get out of the park. It was 11:00 p.m., 1 hour and 43 minutes later, when we pulled into our driveway.

It wasn’t the evening we expected. Although we DID get to do some good people-watching, we DID learn about navigating St. Louis traffic, we DID somehow find ourselves in the middle of the Delmar Loop on our way home (an area we’d wanted to explore), and we DID get to spend a LOT of uninterrupted time together. And, we CAN say that we went to the balloon glow!

I imagine that we will venture out onto the St. Louis social scene again sometime soon. There is much more to see and do, and surely we can find activities that aren’t quite so appealing to the masses. The balloon glow looked like a fun time and we may try it again next year. Or, then again, maybe not.

Home

My blogging hiatus has come to an end. The busyness of the past four months proved too much to handle, I suppose, thus the lack of writing. There are a number of events from recent weeks that I could discuss, but one has to start somewhere. Reflecting on the honeymoon has led to this post; we’ll see where it goes from here!

I had never been out the country before, and what a way to start! St. Lucia and the Caribbean were absolutely beautiful, and I could not have asked for a more perfect place to celebrate with Bobby. The surprising part, though, was how much we were ready to come home to the United States after our time abroad. Of course, we both knew we loved our country, but to be so looking forward to coming back to American soil was an unexpected, wonderful, feeling.

As we were in the air, flying back to Miami, I couldn’t help but think about how blessed we were to be heading back to a country that we are so happy to call home. I don’t imagine everyone being so lucky.

I was certainly in awe after seeing the crystal blue waters of the Caribbean Sea, and the lush, palm tree-rich rainforests of St. Lucia. Yet, now that we’re back, I find myself recognizing “America the Beautiful” in a new way.

As Bobby and I drove to Springfield last weekend, I was admiring the scenery along I-44…hardly one of America’s “must-see” landscapes. Still, I was thinking about the natural wonders we’re afforded living here. The citizens of St. Lucia don’t get the joy of a white winter, and the Caribbean travel brochures don’t include a section on the brilliant colors of fall that we enjoy. We have beaches, mountains, forests, deserts, and the freedom to explore them all.

I’m confident that the Phillips family has more international traveling ahead. There is a lot of world left to see and experience! But, we will certainly continue to enjoy the blessings and beauty of America, too, and will always happily and proudly call this country “home”.

De-Construction

The Brady Student Center at Mizzou is undergoing serious renovation. “Phase One” seems to be complete, with the construction of a new bookstore and offices and whatnot. It appears that “Phase Two”, involving the demolition of some of the old areas of the building, is now underway.

I know this because today, as I was walking across campus, I witnessed a huge "hydraulic excavator" ripping massive chunks of metal off of the building. I paused in my walk momentarily to watch this scene because I don’t frequently see much de-construction, if you will, in the midst of the seemingly endless construction and re-construction on campus. 

There was something oddly intriguing about the sight of a large piece of equipment just tearing into what seemed to be a perfectly good piece of building. And I liked it.

Perhaps it was the novelty of the scene, or perhaps my pleasure in observing this spectacle was due to the sense of relief it provided after a long day. I’m not sure. But, for whatever reason, I found it strangely refreshing.

The experience inspired no particular thought-provoking prose or insightful musings about my world, and that’s okay. It is what it is…a simple moment of enjoyment found in a most surprising circumstance. And I like that. 

Something Beautiful

When it rained on Good Friday, I was pleased.

When it rained on Easter, I was not.

The weather on Friday seemed appropriately matched to the solemn nature of the day. Yet, when I woke up Easter morning, the celebration of the holiday didn’t fit with the gloomy outdoors.

Now, the beautiful thing about being a Christian and knowing why we celebrate Easter is that our joy isn’t dependent on the weather. Still, it seemed as though a bright sunrise would have been far more fitting.

As Bobby and I drove away from Springfield on Sunday afternoon after our time at home, the rain continued…heavily. But, much to our surprise, as we continued along I-44 we noticed a rainbow emerging above the rain-soaked highway.  

The rainbow grew, and grew, and grew, and before we knew it, the faint glimmer of color we had first seen had grown into a full-fledged, arching rainbow, brightly showing through the rain.

As we watched the rainbow transform, I couldn’t help but remember God’s promise after the Genesis flood.

“Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life.”

Genesis 9:14-15

God displayed a sign of one of His promises on the day celebrating His fulfilled promise of Christ’s resurrection. Isn’t that just like Him to do?

The Easter rainbow we were so blessed to see reminded me of one more thing. That is, the constant ability of God to turn something stormy into something beautiful.

From a thunderstorm to a rainbow…from a crucifixion to a Savior.

And suddenly, with that realization, the weather on Easter seemed very, very fitting indeed.

 

By Faith

Once again, my time at “The Crossing” has served as inspiration for another posting after a lengthy hiatus. Paul Tripp, a well-known author and speaker who gave a conference this weekend at the church, gave today’s sermon based on Hebrews 11:1-7. The topic centered on faith, and how we define ours. Below are some of the bulleted points from my notes, which include Mr. Tripp’s own words and my paraphrased ideas.

 

Faith in a Creator—

·       Just as a painter “owns” his finished artwork, so too does this world and all in it belong to the Creator!

·       “I can think of no more powerful four words than these…‘In the beginning, GOD’.”

·       “There are a 1,000 ways every week that we deny our Creator.” Every time we mistakenly believe that we are in control, we are denying His authority and power as CREATOR.

“By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command….”

Hebrews 11:3

·       “It is HIS world, HE made it, and I am HIS creature.”

·       “I exist for the purpose of another.” This realization should shape every attitude and every relationship. Recognizing our existence for God’s purposes is foremost in importance, but to apply that mindset to our relationships with our spouse and others we love should change everything, and shape everything about us.

 

Faith in His Sovereignty—

·       “Your story is being written by another.”

·       “Think about how little of life we actually control! Think about what it would take to design all of us here, to be in this place, at this time. That is power beyond description.”

·       “Do you live like you think your world is out of control, or like your world is under His divine control?” His careful, deliberate control….

·       “Submit yourself in happy rest to the One who controls it all. Life becomes different when you rest in that reality.”

“From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us.”

Acts 17:26-27

·     “He is in the middle of the details, on purpose, so that we can reach out and touch him.” Did I, this week, recognize that He is near?

 

Faith in a Savior—

·       “Your greatest problem is you. My greatest problem is me. Jesus came to rescue me from me!”

·       “I quit being a seeker of grace when I believe that my biggest problem is outside of myself.”

 

My dear friend, Ashley, and I visit on the phone on a regular basis, and our conversations frequently turn to the uncertainly we are both facing as we grow. As I share my concerns for Bobby and I as we try to find employment and begin our lives together, Ashley consistently says things like, “God is in control! He will provide. He always does.” I am so thankful for her friendship and the reminders God sends my way through her (and through my parents, as well) about His faithfulness and provision.

Interesting, that on the day that marks five-months until my wedding day, God sends through this sermon another fitting reminder as I try to wrestle with uncertainties about the future, so often trying to control the outcome on my own.

Where will we live? Ahhh. God has that figured out.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, 

who have been called according to his purpose.”

Romans 8:28

Am I a person of faith? Living by believing in a sovereign Creator? My prayer is that I will continue to recognize and live by the gift of faith, ever growing in the recognition of how wide, deep, far, long, and vast God’s love...and faithfulness...extends.

 

“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His love endures forever.”

Psalms 136:1

 

 

A Taste of Springtime

I knew this would happen. After the initial excitement of creating a blog and a few insightful posts, I suspected that my creativity and thoughtful energy would lessen. Such is exactly the case today. I have resorted to discussing, of all things, the weather.

But what beautiful weather it is! As I write this, I am sitting on the porch of my apartment, enjoying the 71-degree temperature…in February. It is a gorgeous day, sunny with not a cloud in the sky. Tempted as I was to break out the flip-flops this morning, I resisted. I refuse to succumb to the temptation, knowing that tomorrow it will be winter again. My philosophy is that wearing spring clothes today will only make putting on a coat tomorrow more painful. Most people on campus apparently do not have such a problem. Shorts, tank tops, and flip-flops were seen in abundance on campus today; spring fever is upon us. (Joggers were out and about today, too. I, however, felt no such temptation to join in on that warm weather activity.)

Being the native Missourian that I am, I know that weather anomalies like today are a fact of life…or, is it (cough) “climate change”? Regardless, I’m confident that we still have several weeks of winter to deal with, and like it or not, the flip-flops will have to go back in the closet for a while longer.

Being able to comfortably sit outside in mid-February is certainly a blessing, though. Sometimes I think God is just teasing us when pleasant weather comes at a time when it usually doesn’t. But, today I think He has given us a lovely surprise in this spurt of warm temperatures…a little reminder that spring is on its way, and motivation to get through the chilly weeks ahead.

(“Be patient, Emily,” He whispers. “Your miserably cold walks across campus are only temporary!”)

I’ve been pondering today what I may be thinking about when spring weather is here to stay…in say, mid-April, or so. My walks across the Mizzou campus will be drawing to an end. I will be mere weeks away from graduating and only a few months from getting married! Oh, the change that this spring will bring, and the beauty of new life and new experiences and new opportunities!

I am reminded that “for everything there is a season” and there is much to savor during this one. Valentine’s Day and a big anniversary, Bobby’s birthday, time with friends, and one last winter at Mizzou.... There are memories to be made and this time should be treasured. So, tomorrow morning I’ll try not to grumble about the return to cooler temperatures…too much.

My dad says that the jonquils at home are beginning to peek up from the ground…another sign that spring is coming. I’ll be ready. 

But, for now, I’ll try to be patient.

 

 

An Open Window

I'm glad that I waited until tonight to write, because had I written any earlier in the day, my attitude would have been less than pleasant. Today, after spending a fair amount of time browsing job postings online (or rather, the lack thereof) for Bobby and myself, I found myself for the first time genuinely annoyed at the current state of the job market and the economy. My annoyance turned to frustration, and my frustration to genuine anger and my thoughts progressed as follows....

"It isn't fair! I graduate in 4 months, and there are so few jobs to be found. Why have I bothered spending 4 years in school when a degree seems to matter so little? Bobby is trying so hard to get started and work hard to support us! Our generation hasn't even had a chance to make things better, and how are we supposed to when we can't even get a job? How do we even get started on our own? It isn't fair."

My attitude after my bedtime prayer has changed somewhat, and I realized that though I am frustrated, my perspective is a bit blurred. My thoughts should instead reflect the countless blessings that I enjoy.

I graduate in 4 months with a degree from an American university...

a reality that is a dream for so many around the world.

In less than 7 months, Bobby and I will, "for better or worse, for richer or poorer", be married, able to share in life's joys and trials together...something to truly be celebrated!

I do not go without, I have more than enough, 

and I have been abundantly provided for. 

I would be foolish to think that such a Mighty God 

would cease to provide for us in the days to come.

This isn't the first road block that Bobby and I have faced in our relationship, wondering what the future will hold, and I'm proud of myself for recognizing that it is certainly not the last. Still, it is a lesson of patience and trust that would be easier to avoid. But, I refuse to be discouraged for too long, because we have too much to celebrate. Tomorrow is another day! 

I think Maria put it best in "The Sound of Music" when she said, "when God closes a door, somewhere He opens a window". We're still waiting to find that window, but oh, won't that fresh air feel good? 

Hearing Him Speak

I hadn't realized how long it has been since Bobby and I have attended church separately, but that was the case this morning. I was happy to be back in Columbia after a month of being away, able to worship at the church that has brought both of us so much joy. What I was unprepared for, though, was the reality of being there without Bobby. I was barely able to sing the first few worship songs, fighting back tears, missing him and feeling very far away. I was struck by the profound blessing that it is for us to share in worship when we are together, and I recognize now how precious our time together at church truly is. 

Missing Bobby, though I was, I thoroughly enjoyed the service and am thankful for God's gentle reminder that He is with me in Columbia, even though Bobby and some special friends and family are not. 

"Teach us, Lord, full obedience, holy reverence, true humility...." 

"Speak, O, Lord, and renew our minds; Help us grasp the heights of your plans for us...."

-Excerpt from 'Speak, O, Lord', written by Keith Getty-

The Inaugural...Post

I’ve had the thought of beginning a blog for some time now, after being blessed and somewhat inspired by the ideas and personal thoughts shared on blogs by a few friends. Today, as I watched the presidential inaugural events throughout the day, I had many thoughts that I feel inclined to share and today seems as good a time as any to begin a blog of my own. What this will become I’m still unsure, but at this time with a changing world and the changes that I am facing at this point in my own life, the opportunity to write my thoughts on a regular basis seems to be a good idea.

 

More than any other feeling today as our nation welcomes a new president is that of fascination. I am fascinated by the beautiful nature of the presidential transition of power in our American democracy. Our nation is unlike any other, in that in a matter of hours, we can peacefully usher in a new leader, chosen by the people. The pomp and circumstance surrounding the inauguration was fascinating for me to watch, and recognizing the tradition behind the regal pageantry demonstrates the power and distinctiveness of the American presidency.

 

I don’t agree with all of President Obama’s ideas, and I may not approve of all of his decisions during his presidency, but I do respect the position he holds and the service he is giving to our country. I respect him for bringing hope to so many people, and for what I believe to be a genuine motivation to make the world a better place. I admire the office of the president, and respect the history of our nation because of the presidents we have chosen throughout the years.

 

I’ll be praying for President Obama, his family, and the individuals working under him, that in the years ahead, they will use wisdom in their decision-making, and be protected as they serve. I strongly believe that our country has been and is blessed by God through the leaders we are given, and I am certain that He has a plan for our new president, too.

 

Finally, I am reminded today that the festivities we create for our earthly leaders pale in comparison to the heavenly splendor that surrounds our Father, and the magnitude of the “sea of humanity” that worships our true Leader. What a celebration that “inaugural ball” will be….