I'm glad that I waited until tonight to write, because had I written any earlier in the day, my attitude would have been less than pleasant. Today, after spending a fair amount of time browsing job postings online (or rather, the lack thereof) for Bobby and myself, I found myself for the first time genuinely annoyed at the current state of the job market and the economy. My annoyance turned to frustration, and my frustration to genuine anger and my thoughts progressed as follows....
"It isn't fair! I graduate in 4 months, and there are so few jobs to be found. Why have I bothered spending 4 years in school when a degree seems to matter so little? Bobby is trying so hard to get started and work hard to support us! Our generation hasn't even had a chance to make things better, and how are we supposed to when we can't even get a job? How do we even get started on our own? It isn't fair."
My attitude after my bedtime prayer has changed somewhat, and I realized that though I am frustrated, my perspective is a bit blurred. My thoughts should instead reflect the countless blessings that I enjoy.
I graduate in 4 months with a degree from an American university...
a reality that is a dream for so many around the world.
In less than 7 months, Bobby and I will, "for better or worse, for richer or poorer", be married, able to share in life's joys and trials together...something to truly be celebrated!
I do not go without, I have more than enough,
and I have been abundantly provided for.
I would be foolish to think that such a Mighty God
would cease to provide for us in the days to come.
This isn't the first road block that Bobby and I have faced in our relationship, wondering what the future will hold, and I'm proud of myself for recognizing that it is certainly not the last. Still, it is a lesson of patience and trust that would be easier to avoid. But, I refuse to be discouraged for too long, because we have too much to celebrate. Tomorrow is another day!
I think Maria put it best in "The Sound of Music" when she said, "when God closes a door, somewhere He opens a window". We're still waiting to find that window, but oh, won't that fresh air feel good?