Bobby and I have recently found ourselves noticing Emerson's seemingly sudden transition from a baby to a little girl. Several times in the past week, we've commented to each other how one of her facial expressions has made us pause and notice the little girl she's becoming. After discussing this observation, our next breath inevitably leads us to mention how quickly time is flying by, and how her first birthday is approaching...still four months away, but close enough to make us realize that her first year is quickly coming to an end. It doesn't seem possible.
I often find myself thinking how much I wish I could just stop time right now. Our parents and grandparents are enjoying good health. We have a daughter of our very own. Our home is full of laughter and joy. The dog keeps life interesting, the house keeps us busy, and our needs are more than provided for. Life is so, so sweet.
But of course, life must keep happening. Time marches on! If it didn't, I wouldn't get to witness Emerson's first word, her first steps...(her siblings)...her graduation or her wedding day...every other beautiful moment of hers in between...and whatever precious thing she does tomorrow.
When I hold Emerson in the stillness of her nursery in the quiet hours of the morning, I know what a gift that moment is. And I wish desperately that I could bottle that feeling for years down the road when she isn't in my arms....
Sometimes I wish I didn't realize how precious these moments are with her...that I didn't know how fleeting this time is, or how I know that I'll miss these days. That would be easier, in many ways. Because I find myself mourning, so to speak, the brevity of the moment...at the same time that I celebrate it.
Of course, I wouldn't want the regret that would inevitably come from wishing that I'd enjoyed the time more, so I'm thankful for the wisdom to know to treasure it. And, treasure it I do.
Because I know how precious these days are...and I am cherishing every one of them.