Much to the surprise of several friends, the waiting has not been difficult for us...truly! In fact, there have been times in the past couple of days when I've questioned whether or not I even still want to find out early. Practically, it makes so much more sense to find out now. The nursery can be painted and decor chosen specifically in shades of pink or blue, the wardrobe can be gender-specific, and goodness, I know we're going to need all the time we can get to settle on a name...particularly if Baby Phillips is a 'she'. Still, there's still the traditional part of me that says, "don't you want to wait until delivery? Why do you want to take away one of life's only surprises?" Of course, we'll still be surprised tomorrow...but it isn't exactly the same as waiting until birth, which is the plan I thought I wanted until five months ago.
Oh, well. All that to say, we're finding out tomorrow! Second thoughts (and nerves) aside, we made the decision months ago, and I'm certain it'll be highly romantic. Valentine's Day PLUS the celebration of our eight years as a couple. February 14th is a particularly special day for us, and learning more about the person joining our family in a few months will make the day even more memorable. I'm incredibly excited! Even if I am a little apprehensive....
Friends have offered guesses as to what they suspect baby is (and it's so much fun when they do!), and have asked whether or not Bobby and I have a preference.
For me, that's an impossible question.
On the one hand, I'd love to have a baby boy. I'd love to watch Bobby teach him to throw a baseball, and I'd love imagining what my husband was like as a little boy himself. I'd love experiencing the messes and the mud, and learning all about trucks and trains and superheroes. I'd love seeing Bobby teach him how to be the kind of godly gentleman that he is. And, I'd love to be an example of the kind of godly woman I'd hope for my son to someday make his bride.
But, on the other hand, I'd love to have a baby girl. I'd love to see her melt her daddy's heart, and watch Bobby tenderly protect his little girl. I'd love to see glimpses of myself as she grows up. I'd love playing 'dress-up' and dreaming together. I'd love to show her how to take care of a home, how to lovingly handle her dolls, and picture her as a mother herself. I'd love to teach her to wait for a man as special as her daddy is, and I'd love watching Bobby walk her down the aisle someday.
Either way, I am content in knowing that it's part of God's perfect design...that He knew long ago whether we'd be welcoming a son or a daughter this summer...that there's a plan for the child He's creating for us...and that our little one will be fiercely loved by its' parents, and by the Lord.
How can we be anything but overjoyed, whatever the envelope reveals?!
For the record...
Bobby thinks it's a girl.
I think it's a boy.
Although, whether as a result of intuition or Bobby's influence, I've started to think 'girl' in the past couple of days, as well.
I know one of us is right!
I woke up this morning thinking, "TODAY TODAY TODAY!!!" I'm so excited for you guys! You've got to wonder... will this be the first boy baby on the Essmann side of the gene pool in 53 years??? Have such a wonderfully romantic & joyful night. I know you'll be walking on clouds regardless of what the envelope reveals!
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