A Letter to Emerson: The Night Before Kindergarten

Dear Emerson Blair,

Tomorrow morning, you start school. Kindergarten! You are, without a doubt, "ready", in every sense of the word. I am confident in your confidence, in your wisdom, in YOU.

This will be a new chapter for our family, for me, and most certainly, for you. Emerson, every season with you has been a joy; this newest adventure will be no different. Still, I am all too aware that with the opening of that classroom door tomorrow, there is one behind us closing. You sense that change, and with a wisdom beyond your years (as I've become accustomed to you having), seem to grasp the emotion that comes with that. This is all so very bittersweet, for both of (...for all of...) us.

Lately, I've been looking at a photo on the fridge of you and me at your 9-month doctor appointment. And, although I remember the absolute happiness that came with that season of your life, I can't help but think about what a stranger that baby girl in the photograph seems to be, compared to the six-year-old I know now. Baby Emerson was a lot of fun (and, oh, I have always marveled at you!), but what I didn't know then was how incredible you are now. I didn't know what it would feel like to listen to you pretend to be "Andy" and "Barney" in the backyard with Brennan, to watch you silently draw an "abstract" piece of art, or gently push Easton in the swing...to see you "play chase" with your daddy, or to hear you sing the "Doxology". You are a treasure...and not yet even all God has designed you to be. Wow. What a thought....

Part of me wants to keep you here at home with me, so I won't have to miss you, and so I can keep you safe. But, the truth is, it wasn't Daddy or me that ever really has. No, since the moment you were created, God has guided and guarded your every step...from before you even began taking them! I'm not now "sharing" you with the world, because you aren't mine to share. You belong to Him; you are His precious child. So, even though tomorrow I won't be holding your hand, I know the One who holds you so securely in His.

I just have a feeling that, in a few years, I'll look back at your first school picture, remembering how special it was knowing and loving six-year-old you...but thinking, too, how the child pictured there seems to be, somehow, a stranger. What will I know about you then that I haven't yet learned?! Oh, how exciting it is...how exciting it will be...to find out!

Emerson, welcome to Kindergarten! You are going to shine. Precious, you already do.

And, I will never stop marveling at you.

Love,
Mommy

P.S. Our Olive Garden date this week was so much fun. Let's do it again soon, okay?

Noticed

A forgotten post, drafted last fall...but a pertinent personal reminder, always.

The family excursion to Lowe's had not gone well. I had needed a Saturday outing...to be out of the house for a time...to feel productive. 

And, the errand did--not--go--well. Despite our best parenting efforts...the children won. 

I came home tired and grumpy...silent, but visibly frustrated by our discouraging and very non-productive experience out of the house with two small children. I walked from room to room, picking up this & that and tidying here & there. I saw messes that I had no idea when I'd be able to address. My annoyance with the clutter and with the day grew.

I bent down to pick up a few stray alphabet refrigerator magnets, that I knew had been lying on the kitchen floor for days. 

I'd better get these, I thought. No one else will. 

Does anyone else even see the mess? What's the point? Why do I bother? 

My attitude was poor; my spirit was weary.

"Thank you, Mommy."

What did she just say? Surely she can't have noticed. There's no way she's thanking me for this.

"Thank you for what, Emerson?"

"Thank you, for picking up my magnets off the floor.... You're having a rough day, huh?"

She noticed. My efforts, my mood.... Oh, wow. ... Wow.

And then, the tears began. She had seen, and genuinely affirmed me in the most precious way.

By her comment, through the innocent eyes of a child, the Lord was speaking.

I see you. I notice. And your work matters. 

I heard Him. 

I realized that it most certainly did matter. That my work is noticed and appreciated and valued, even when it doesn't feel that way. And that, as much as I value serving my family, I am ultimately working for the Lord.

23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,   24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. 
It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

Colossians 3: 23-24

My attitude changed. I stopped tidying. I tearfully went to her & hugged her & held her. Tightly. 

"I love you, Emerson."

"I love you more, Mommy."

"Not possible, Little One.... Not possible."

Eleven Days

One week ago today, Bobby and I watched two of our best friends bury their eleven-day old son.

I am taken aback just writing that sentence. This is all so entirely surreal.

Eleven days.

Eleven days to hold him in their arms. Eleven days to memorize every one of his tiny features...so fearfully and wonderfully made. Eleven days to sing lullabies, read Bible stories and whisper his name. Eleven days of fervent prayers, petitioning the Father to heal their son.

For nine months, they prepared and anticipated, full of excitement and joy. The pregnancy was as normal as could be. There was no reason to expect that the birth wouldn't be, too. For nine months, they waited as their baby boy was knit together.

And then, in a matter of a few short moments, their world was shattered as things went very, very wrong.

The story is theirs to tell; the sorrow is ours to share.

Eleven days.

I am heartbroken with and for them. I am angry. This isn't how it's supposed to work. This isn't what should have happened. They are enduring what no one should have to...certainly not them.

It is beyond comprehension, and although it is not for us to understand, the questions persist. The devastation continues.

This traumatic experience causes me to consider how I might handle the situation if it were me facing it. I can say with near certainty that I would not be responding as well as they seem to be. I am in awe of the faithfulness and trust in the Lord that these two are displaying. They are the epitome of grace, embodying what Christians are called to do in the face of trial. I am overwhelmed by the evidence of God's work in and through them throughout this experience.

"The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. 

Blessed be the name of the Lord."

Job 1:21

The journey, though, is just beginning. The reality of the grief is only now setting in.

Bobby and I pray for the Lord's perfect peace and continued presence in their lives, and for His guidance and wisdom as we seek to discern how to be the kind of friends they need in the coming months and years.

I struggle to know how to end this post. For a situation where there are really no words, anyway.... It seems appropriate, though, to conclude with a verse that I know our friends have found comfort in as they navigate their grief.

May we all hold to this truth so confidently, faithfully clinging to His assurances.

"Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 

and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 

and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts 

through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."

Romans 5:3-5

The Glucose Test

Presently, I am sitting in the lab of my doctor's office, beginning my three-hour glucose tolerance test. I don't particularly want to be here; the circumstances surrounding my need to be have been highly frustrating. I have issues with the policy and the medical “necessity” in this case; it's a long story. But, between fighting a summer cold and a family vacation on the horizon, I just don't have it in me to fight “The Man” this week. So, here I sit, after a week of thinking about this looming visit and my serious preference not to find myself here.

But, today I woke up very much at peace with what was to come this morning. I was up before the sun and before the rest of the family (something that hasn't happened in months!), able to shower on my own and begin the day largely at my own pace. The sun began to shine on what should be a beautiful summer day, and when Emerson did wake, she had a big smile on her face, happy as could be and ready for cuddles. What a perfect way to start the day.

As I drove to the clinic, I was calmed and overwhelmed with the realization that my doctor isn't in control of this situation or this day...the Great Physician is. That reminder makes all the difference.

So, I am adjusting the poor attitude that I've had leading up to this test. I still wish I weren't here. I still want to talk to my doctor about the frustration in “having” to be. But, the truth is, there is simply too much to be thankful for, too many abundant blessings, for me to be anything less than joyful, even in this unpleasant circumstance. I'll be darned if I'm not going to do my best to find the positive here.

I am, after all, only here to make sure that the healthy baby I get to carry stays that way. There are many, many more scary reasons to have blood drawn, and I'm grateful to not be facing those.

At the very least, I get three hours to myself (well, myself and the phlebotomist), and I am hopeful that between the blog post drafting and the photo editing, this will be a productive time. (After nearly passing out following the first blood draw, I had to take a trip to the exam room to lie down with a wet towel. That was a setback, but I think I'm back in business now.) I am missing Emerson this morning, but having some time away is nice, too. 

It is what it is. And, Father knows best.

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Romans 12:12

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, 

whenever you face trials of many kinds.

James 1:2

Emerson's B-I-B-L-E

Emerson has several favorite books, and she will readily pull them off the shelf, delighted to have a lap to sit in or someone to lay on her tummy next to as she reads. Often, the book she chooses is one of her children's Bibles. And when your toddler brings you the Bible to read...well, it just doesn't get any more special than that.

We always start "in the beginning". She turns each page through the story of Creation, and points out Eve and the sneaky snake. "Did God want them to eat the fruit?" ... "Mmm, mmm. Nooo." she says, shaking her head.

Then, it's on to "Noooooo-ahhhh!" (Because God said, "Noah! Build a big boat!" and I read it quite dramatically during our first telling of that story. So now..."Noooooo-ahhhh" it is!)

After that, it's ALL about the babies. We look for Abraham and Sarah and their baby, Isaac. Which is quite precious, since Emerson obviously knows a baby Isaac in her life. So, the fact that there's a baby "Ah-gah" in the Bible is fun. Then we turn a few pages to find Isaac's babies, Esau ("hairy!") and Jacob.

Moses is next, and she points out that Moses' mommy is sad when she has to put him in a basket, and then she's happy again to see him.

Finally, we turn many (many!) pages to look for baby Jesus, in a stable and in a bed that doesn't look anything like hers. She knows that Jesus is a special baby ("awww....") and notices the angels and the shepherds that come to worship Him.

Of course, there are more stories to learn, and the time will come for that. For now, though, she is learning through repetition of the ones that intrigue and delight her, and I am fascinated that she very clearly knows that it's a book to be enjoyed.

Lord, may she always have such interest in discovering your Word. 
May she continue to earnestly learn more about You. 
May I have the wisdom to help her grow and foster her curiosity. 
May I be intentional and diligent about guiding her to seek You.

Home Church

Simply put (and hardly simple to rectify), Bobby and I are not growing spiritually in the meaningful way that we want to be at our home church.

For a variety of reasons, it doesn't feel "right" to be there on Sundays lately. Between Emerson's morning schedule, my uncertainty and discomfort about a nursery environment (especially during flu season), & our desire for...more...in the way of stimulating and relevant spiritual discussions, going to church has become somewhat of a chore, one that has left us feeling far more discouraged than motivated.

Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.
Hebrews 5:13-14

This isn't a situation we take lightly, or one that we are comfortable with. It's difficult, especially when we consider the incredible fellowship that we enjoy at church, and the connection we experience being among fellow believers each week.

For as the body is one and has many members, but all the members of that one body, 

being many, are one body, so also is Christ.

1 Corinthians 12:12

This may be a 'black and white' decision for some.

"If the church isn't helping your spiritual development, go somewhere else."

or

"Stay where you are for the positive Christian fellowship."

But, this is the church that Bobby and I attended together as we dated.

It's the church we were married in.

This is a church full of friends who celebrated our pregnancy and helped us eagerly anticipate Emerson's arrival.

It's a church made of dear people who love us & love our families & surround us with support and kindness.

I am confident that there are good things happening there, and that there are many people who are growing in their faith by the efforts being done. More than anything, I know that it is certainly a congregation with good people who love the Lord.

So, for us, it is a situation that is very, very 'gray'.

We could likely make a decision more easily if it were just the two of us. It would be a choice that we would have to reconcile with ourselves and the Lord.

But, Emerson changes things. We are increasingly mindful of the job we have as her parents to train her up in the way she should go. Her spiritual development is paramount, and we have an overwhelming responsibility to make choices with her in mind.

Train up a child in the way he should go: 

and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:6

Since January, we have chosen to worship each Sunday from our living room. (A new "home" church, if you will.) We stream a live service from The Crossing using our Apple TV, and it has been exactly what we've needed. (How fun that the technology that provides us with entertainment is also providing the opportunity for us to worship in such a meaningful way?)

For where two or three are gathered together in my name, 

there am I in the midst of them.

Matthew 18:20

The environment is just right for Emerson. She plays on the couch and makes as much noise as she pleases & her regular morning schedule is uninterrupted. We still worship together; I cuddle her while we sing with the worship team on-screen, and bounce her to sleep during the sermon. More significantly, Bobby and I are being challenged, motivated, and excited by our worship.

It feels "right".

I don't know what our long-term solution will be, and I wonder what "church" will look like for Emerson as she grows. There are lots of questions in the Phillips household these days, and there are no clear answers.

What I am quite sure of, though, is that for Bobby and me to effectively teach Emerson foundational Biblical truths & to effectively and wisely parent her...we need to be growing in our own faith and understanding. What is best for her is for our choice to be based on our own Christian development...which, for now, seems to be found right in our own living room.

A Tumble

Emerson took a tumble a couple of months ago. (As in, December, I think? Clearly, I'm a bit behind in my blog-posting, but it's a story worth sharing, anyway, in my opinion.)

She was sitting on the couch, propped up by pillows, as we'd done many times before. I was adjusting the computer, not two feet away. And then, as if in slow motion, I saw her jerk forward (a new "trick" at the time), then roll off the side, twist mid-air, and land on her back on the floor. I saw it happening...was reaching for her as it occurred...and I just couldn't move fast enough.

She cried; I cried.

She calmed down quickly, though I watched all day for signs of something serious. All seemed well, and thankfully, that first tumble (the first of many, I know) was a mild one.

Still...it was a terrible, horrible feeling.

I was not only upset that she was hurt, but that it happened because of something I could've prevented. And, frankly, I tried to...with pillows and positioning her in such a way that I thought she was safe. I was aware that falls would be increasingly possible as she became increasingly mobile, and I knew it was a risk. The fact that I tried to keep it from happening...and something bad happened, anyway...made it all the more discouraging.

As I prayed over her that night, I thanked the Lord for watching over her, for His hand of protection during that scary moment.

I was reminded, then, that I can't keep Emerson from all harm. I've tried to protect her from the moment (and even before) I knew she was on her way, and I do my best every day to keep this precious child well.

But, we live in a fallen world. And, there are dangers, big and small...circumstances that are out of my hands. I hope I'm always mindful to continually place her into His.

Sermon Series: The Book of James

We've been studying the Book of James with The Crossing on Sundays, and the following are notes that I've taken during the sermons over the past few weeks. The messages on trials, wisdom, and wealth are giving me a great deal to reflect and ponder upon each week.

February 17, 2013 // James 1:1-4, 12 // Dave Cover

• We ask God to take trials away, when instead He's sent the trial as a blessing to help us grow spiritually.
• God wants growth; we want comfort.
• Trials release us from the bondage of self-reliance.
• Trials don't bring about Christian maturity automatically. We must seek wisdom for how to grow through it.
• What exposes my need for wisdom? (Parenthood, family, marriage?) Where is my foolishness evident?
• Wisdom requires discernment...seeing the world from God's perspective.
• Wisdom is a person. His name is Jesus.

Teach me your way, O Lord,

    that I may walk in your truth;

    give me an undivided heart to revere your name.

Psalm 86:11

Lord, you are my God;

    I will exalt you and praise your name,

for in perfect faithfulness

    you have done wonderful things,

    things planned long ago.

Isaiah 25:11

February 24, 2013 // James 1:5-8 // Keith Simon

• Both poverty and riches offer challenges to our faith. Each is a test of our faith.
• Riches test us because we get distracted by protecting what we have, and we risk self-reliance.

⁹ Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position. ¹⁰ But the rich should take pride in their humiliation—since they will pass away like a wild flower. ¹¹ For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich will fade away even while they go about their business.

James 1:9-11

⁸ 

Keep falsehood and lies far from me;

    give me neither poverty nor riches,

    but give me only my daily bread.

⁹ 

Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you

    and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’

Or I may become poor and steal,

    and so dishonor the name of my God.

Proverbs 30:8-9

This is what the Lord says: “Let not the wise boast of their wisdom or the strong boast of their strength or the rich boast of their riches, 

but let the one who boasts boast about this: 

that they have the understanding to know me, 

that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, 

 justice and righteousness on earth, 

 for in these I delight,” 

declares the Lord.

Jeremiah 9:23-24

March 3, 2013 // James 1:1 // Charles Anderson

• Don't measure your reality by anything other than knowing Christ.
• How do we view our riches as a test of how we relate to Him?
• Reverse the way we consider our wealth by considering it as God does.

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,

    and naked I will depart.

The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;

    may the name of the Lord be praised.”

Job 1:21

¹⁸ Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. ¹⁹ In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.

1 Tim 6:18-19

Hallelujah! All I have is Christ
Hallelujah! Jesus is my life

New Every Morning

The rare nights when Emerson struggles to go to sleep are usually the nights when I'm the most ready to. And, although I try so very hard to display patience and affection, my heart is often grumbling. I know she can't help it when her teeth are causing pain and not allowing her to rest, and she doesn't intentionally wake up at 4:00 a.m. because she's thinking "hmm, how can I bother Mommy?" Still, there are times when my lack of sleep causes me to feel a bit of resentment and frustration. I'm not proud of it, but it's true.

The incredible part is, though, that no matter how tired I am in the morning, when I see her smiling, fresh face, I forget all about the long night behind us. I cannot be frustrated with that precious, innocent little girl! 

The other morning I watched her as she awoke, and I was reminded of the following truth:

 ²² It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.

²³ They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23 (KJV)

I won't ever be able to fully comprehend God's love for me. Through motherhood, though, I am finding constant illustrations which deepen my awareness of my Father's unconditional, compassionate love...new every morning.

Christmastime Around Here

One of my favorite parts of the holiday season is decorating the Christmas tree.

More specifically, I love the excitement of opening and looking through the fresh-from-storage boxes. Though the contents remain relatively unchanged year after year, there's something magical about seeing what's inside & revealing the treasures that are only in sight approximately 1/12th of the year.

It's a tradition that is (as I suppose most traditions are) comforting in its constancy. Year after year, the process is the same & the reflection similar as I reminisce on our collection of ornaments.

Themed Christmas trees are beautiful, and they have their place. I enjoy seeing them at Silver Dollar City, at the mall, or in a designer magazine. In our home, though, I far prefer what is essentially the 'story of our life' displayed through each ornament...a visible reminder of the many milestones and memories we have to reflect on and enjoy.

"Our First Christmas-2009"

"Our New Home"

the souvenirs from our honeymoon in St. Lucia and our vacation to Mexico

the Mizzou Tiger from my years in Columbia

the annual glass-blown balls from Bobby's office

...and the one we'll be adding this year, celebrating Emerson's birth. 

Each ornament makes me smile and reminds me of the beauty of this life we're building. What began as a small collection of ornaments is growing with each passing year of memories made.

As much as I value the constancy of our tree and the tradition of decorating for the season, I'm excited for the changes in years ahead, too. For the ornaments we'll add signifying milestones in our family, and for the handmade decor that Emerson will contribute. For the years when the ornaments will be a few feet higher to remain out of reach, and for the years when they will all be gathered at the bottom of the tree, because that's as high as little hands could reach to place them.

Regardless, I know the tree will tell our family's story.

***************************************************

Bobby usually places the ornaments on the tree itself. (I find it too stressful. Leave it to me to find an element of Christmas decorating to be stressful.) I'm happy to assist with this task, aiding by putting the hangers on the ornaments beforehand, and then handing each one off to him.

I was, admittedly, less helpful this year than usual. (To his credit, Bobby did an excellent job without me.) Emerson doesn't yet quite appreciate the sentimentality of the occasion, and wasn't content to sit still while I reminisced over each memento. Thus, she and I danced around the living room to what I consider the soundtrack of my childhood Christmases. Though I'm certain my family listened to many tapes and CD's as I grew up, there is one album that I associate with preparing for the holiday. And so, it plays in our home each year as we decorate the tree.

Emerson grew restless as we decorated and danced, and after a while, she and I sat down in the living room rocking chair. Having been displaced by the tree, the chair was in a new corner, but allowed for a perfect view of the tree-decorating in progress. While Emerson nursed, I watched Bobby as he mindfully placed each ornament, according to significance, in a special spot on the tree.

As he did that, my mind wandered to next Christmas, picturing sweet Emerson helping (or, "helping") her daddy decorate the tree. Or, the Christmases after that, when perhaps Emerson will dance around the living room as little brothers or sisters watch the scene with wonder....

I blinked away tears as I imagined the future with great anticipation.

And then, as the Christmas music playlist ended, the next songs in our iTunes library began...instrumental, lullaby hymns. Bobby continued his work to the gentle melody of "Holy, Holy, Holy"...peaceful and worshipful music that so appropriately suited the occasion and this season of life with our little girl. Perfect for Emerson as she drifted to sleep in my arms...& a perfect illustration for Mommy of just how unique and precious this Christmas is.

Musings of Motherhood

A few thoughts after experiencing three (and a half) months of motherhood....

• Never in any job or project I've undertaken have I been so completely exhausted at day's end. These days,  I am physically and emotionally wiped out. I feel...spent. As though there is nothing left of me to give. I am giving myself entirely to my daughter between 8ish in the morning when she wakes up until 10ish at night (when we both go to bed). I am "on the job" every moment I'm awake. There is nothing like it!

• Of course, I always appreciated my mom. I've written Mother's Day cards full of sentiment and gratitude...but I get it now. I "get" why we celebrate motherhood. I have an entirely new perspective of what my mother did (does!) for me. There is still much to learn, and I know my eyes will continue to be opened as to the magnitude of how wonderful she is as I discover more about what it really means to be a loving mom.

• The work I do at home can feel pretty small, compared to the happenings in the rest of the world. I'm trying to remember how important it is to keep our little world turning. Clean laundry, paid bills, tidy kitchen, tasty supper, happy and healthy baby...it's meaningful work, and it's mine.

• I am so grateful for the new spiritual awareness and focus that I am experiencing.  It is our deep desire to raise Emerson in a godly manner, teaching her to fear the Lord, and I have a new recognition of my need for wisdom and Christ's strength. I am increasingly aware of my dependence on God to guide my day and guard Emerson.  I have a better understanding of unconditional love, and far greater appreciation for sacrifice. My prayers each night over Emerson's crib as she sleeps are some of the most fervent, honest and genuine words I have ever spoken to my Father, and I'm thankful.

• I'm lonesome for time with special friends. I want to spend time with friends close-by, and catch-up with friends far away. I want to chat, sip coffee, & connect. I love spending my days with Emerson, but I miss the company of friends.

• There is an interesting balance between feeling as though I'm "losing myself" in motherhood, and finding myself, as well. "Mom" is what I've always wanted to be, and I wouldn't trade it for anything, but recognizing the changes in myself that this new role requires is interesting and unique.

• I glanced in the mirror during Emerson's bath the other night. There was spit-up all over the front of my t-shirt, and spaghetti sauce stains on my shoulder (...a result of my haphazardly eating ravioli so as not to drip on baby). My hair was falling down from the messy bun on top of my head, and my make-up had long since rubbed off (though I am proud that I had been wearing some in the first place). I saw in the mirror what very much looked like a "mom uniform", and I was strangely pleased. We'd had a happy day. I'd worked hard. And in seeing that reflection, I knew I'd done my job.

Conceivably

I love anniversaries. Wedding and romantic anniversaries, of course, but also the recognition of dates in my life that were somehow meaningful. In my mind, taking note of the notable days in our past provides a sense of where we were & where we are & where we're going, and provides some connection between the days and months that keep going by. It's important for me to recognize these occasions. Without doing so, the days can turn into years...seemingly endless until time has too quickly passed to realize it.

(I've written about a few of my meaningful anniversaries here and here and here...and here.)

Admittedly, writing about this anniversary borders on the line of over-sharing, but since I've made it clear how important it is to me to recognize milestone dates, I'll proceed.

Emerson was likely conceived on this date last year.

I know...rather personal. Although, conceivably (ha), anyone that knows anything about the timeline of pregnancy and her estimated due date could have figured that out.

Anyway, whether or not the exact date is accurate, it's fun for me to think about. If you believe that life begins at conception (as I do), then this occasion is a special one. On this date (or thereabouts) one year ago, God created Emerson. Her life began before I knew it had; she was fearfully and wonderfully made!

Something worth celebrating, indeed.

source

myPhone: Part III

Last post about my stolen and then recovered iPhone, I promise. (Well, no, I don't promise. You just never know.)

I'm fascinated by the amount of personal reflection and thoughts of faith that have emerged as a result of such a seemingly insignificant event in the course of the world (i.e. a lost phone). I'm thankful for the reminder given by this experience, that God uses the moments we least expect to guide and grow us. Seeing Him work in big ways in our little trials is such an excellent display of His intimate involvement in the smallest of life's circumstances.

My mom's blog post regarding this incident is encouraging and insightful, and truly makes the happy ending to this story "Even Better". Check it out.

Happy Friday, everyone!

Christmas in October

The Christmas decor is up at Walmart, and it's been on display at Hobby Lobby for weeks now...and I am bothered when I see that commercialism beginning so soon. I'll be holding off on decor and preparation until November 25th (at least). I have a strict rule: no Christmas-anything until after Thanksgiving. (Apparently I'm "old school" like that....)

So, as you might imagine, when I joined the Christmas Choir at our church and our first practice began in August, I was admittedly a bit apprehensive about listening to Christmas music so early.

My cousin will smile at what I'm about to say. She's from the school of thought that Christmas music can never come too early. My dear sister, who shares my feelings about giving each holiday and season its due time, might disown me...but I do hope she doesn't.

The fact is, I am truly enjoying listening to and singing Christmas music in October. (To be clear, sis, it's just the choir music, I promise!)

Most of my mornings in recent weeks have begun by singing along (with gusto!) to the rehearsal CD in the car on the drive to work. The songs are jubilant, beautiful, and with lyrics like "arise...come alive!!!...", how can one help but to be awakened and ready to start the day? My morning "rehearsals" have been such a worshipful time.

Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign:

The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son,

and will call him Immanuel.

Isaiah 7:14

(This is, interestingly enough, not my first post this year about singing Christmas music out-of-season. Remember this one in April?)

I always greatly enjoy and appreciate Christmas music in the weeks leading up to December 25th. And, I know that when December rolls around (shoot, when the day after Thanksgiving rolls around!), I'll be ready to play my Jim Brickman Christmas albums (yes, plural) on a regular basis. But, what I didn't expect was the appreciation that I've found for these carols right now.

Right now, the shopping frenzy has not begun. The television commercials are not yet emphasizing finding "just the right gift", and our minds aren't overwhelmed by what "must" get done before Christmas morning. The decor & the shopping & the wrapping & the baking & the parties are all such fun! But, they can lead to a frenzied and overly-busy month. Right now, I just get to reflect on the message of Christmas through the music, without the distraction of all of the other things that December holds.

There is something to be said, I believe, for having a few weeks of mental and spiritual preparation for the holidays. Who would've thought that by listening to Christmas music in October, God would bless me with the chance to do exactly that?

For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Isaiah 9:6

Exodus 14:14

via Pinterest

Song of Solomon 2:11-12

¹¹ See! The winter is past; 
the rains are over and gone. 

¹² Flowers appear on the earth; 

   the season of singing has come, 

the cooing of doves 

   is heard in our land.

Joy to the World

A few years ago, when I was at Mizzou and attending The Crossing, we sang "Joy to the World" in a Sunday morning service during the Easter season.

The song is, of course, traditionally played during Christmastime, and it's one of my December favorites. Yet there was something incredibly moving and memorable about hearing that music in April, contemplating the lyrics and their meaning from a varied perspective. A poignant reminder to recognize the Nativity's connection to Calvary....

At Christmas we celebrate the birth of the baby who would save the world; at Easter we celebrate the man who by His death and resurrection, did.

Joy to the world, the Lord is come!
Let earth receive her King;

Let every heart prepare Him room,

And Heaven and nature sing,

And Heaven and nature sing,

And Heaven, and Heaven, and nature sing.

Joy to the earth, the Savior reigns!
Let men their songs employ;

While fields and floods, rocks, hills and plains

Repeat the sounding joy,

Repeat the sounding joy,

Repeat, repeat, the sounding joy.

No more let sins and sorrows grow,
Nor thorns infest the ground;

He comes to make His blessings flow

Far as the curse is found,

Far as the curse is found,

Far as, far as, the curse is found.

He rules the world with truth and grace,
And makes the nations prove

The glories of His righteousness,

And wonders of His love,

And wonders of His love,

And wonders, wonders, of His love.

"Up from the grave He arose"...joy to the world!

"The One"

I'll cut right to the chase.

As of Thursday night, we bought a house! (Because I really like the way that sounds, I'm going to say it again.)

WE BOUGHT A HOUSE!!! 

The seller made an ever-so-slight change to our original offer, however our original price and terms were accepted, and truly, quite unexpectedly so! Amazing.

The fact is that this entire process has been so, well, easy. From the discovery of this house, to the realization that we didn't want to keep hunting after finding this one (more on that in a moment), to the decision to make an offer, to the contract negotiation between all parties...it has been as smooth a process as we could have hoped for.

We looked at several houses throughout our search, but none of them felt as much like home as this one. At this house, unlike all the rest, I can picture Bobby walking in from the garage after work. I can picture a dog in the backyard, and myself spending lazy summer days on the screened-in porch (...or in the next door neighbor's pool?). But, my favorite image came when I first walked into the second bedroom...somehow knowing that it would be a nursery someday. (For our children. You picked up on that, right?)

Long story, short: when we pull into the driveway, we know we're home.

At one point during the house hunting experience, after quickly finding what we felt was "The One" (and know now that it was), I shared with my mom my preconceived notion that the process should take longer, that we should "look at far more houses before making a decision". To that she replied (in as eloquent a way as she so consistently does)...

"I don't think you should feel like it has to be complicated. 

When something is God-blessed, sometimes it really is easy."

And, she (as she so consistently is) has been proven to be exactly right. From the moment she said that, I've been mindful that God is at work in the entire process, that His hand is behind every element, and the fact that it has all felt "easy"...well, that makes perfect sense.

...as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.

Joshua 24:15

God Gave Me Him

February is always a fun month for the mister and me. We just celebrated Valentine's Day, and now we get to celebrate Bobby! Today is his 25th birthday, and I'm so enjoying trying to make this milestone day a special one for him.

As I focus on Bobby this month, the blessing of his life and the love we share, I keep thinking about a song that's been played on the radio quite a bit lately: "God Gave Me You" by Dave Barnes. Check out the lyrics to the chorus below.

God gave me you for the ups and downs

God gave me you for the days of doubt

For when I think I’ve lost my way

There are no words here left to say, it’s true

God gave me yo

u

I just love that.

And, it's exactly how I've always felt about Bobby. God gave me an incredible man to call my husband, and I cherish him and this life we're building together. What a joyful thing to recognize that He has always been the Author of this love story, and knew exactly what He was doing when He created Bobby, and when He brought us together..."for better, for worse", for the ups and downs, and the days of doubt.

On my own I'm only

Half of what I could be

I can’t do without you

We are stitched together

And what love has tethered

I pray we never undo

Happy Birthday, Bobby! 

What an incredible gift you are....

Watch Dave's official music video here. 

(Or, better yet, just listen to it, and look through some special pictures of your own while you do. Just a thought.)