"My Friends"

Emerson ran excitedly to the sandbox at the softball fields. There were a couple of older girls playing there, likely six or seven years old. After introducing herself to them, and asking them to play with her, she looked over at me, giving a confident "thumbs-up". My heart practically burst with pride.

I watched them play. The group grew throughout the evening as they built castles, chased one another, made "sand angels", and dug in the sand. Emerson was happy and carefree and everything a three year old should be.

We talked about her time later that evening. Over and over again, she talked about "my friends".

She could not, I'm quite sure, have told me their names. She knew they were older. She could recount the games they played. It never seemed to dawn on her that she may never see them again, and their relationship would likely never amount to more than the play they shared on that summer evening in June. Nevertheless, they were her "friends".

I admire her for that. Without knowing anything else about those children, the fact that they played together made them her friends. Why shouldn't they be?

I find myself, for whatever reason, more inclined to see other people...other women...as competition (in what?), as a threat (to what?), or as a challenge (for what?) than I am apt to see them as potential friends.

When did that happen? How did that happen? And how in the world do I change that? Because I don't think it's healthy. It's certainly not Christ-like, and it isn't the example I want to set for my girls.

Then again, on that night, Emerson was the example. She showed love, she demonstrated kindness, and she reminded me that the world is full of "my friends"...most of whom I just haven't met yet.

Roadblocks to Maturity: Comparison and Discontent

One of my favorite Pinterest finds is the following quote:

source
(original source unknown)

I can certainly relate.

And, given this quote's popularity online, I suspect I may not be alone. 
But, enough about you and your issues...this is about ME! 
Oh, look! Another "Roadblock to Maturity" topic just presented itself. What do you know?

I love our house. It suits us, and I'm incredibly happy here...until I see the new homes friends are building or buying. Then, I think about our home being too small or too old...and I'm not content.

I'm pleased enough with my wardrobe...until I walk through the mall and see the latest styles and fashion trends. Then, I realize how sorely my own closet is lacking...and I'm not content.

There's the thing. Did you catch that? It isn't until I see what else is available that I decide that what I have isn't good enough by comparison.

 When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. 

Genesis 3:6-7

Comparison, in and of itself, isn't necessarily a bad thing. But, when it begins to foster an attitude of discontentment, it becomes dangerous.

I can't entirely remove the temptation to desire what others have. But, I can limit my exposure to those situations that I know leave me discontented, and make deliberate efforts to recognize just how wonderful I do have it...by comparison.

We may move to another house someday. (Although how Bobby will ever be able to drag me out of this one is beyond me.) But, if we do, I want it to be because we've outgrown our space or because a bigger house becomes a dream of ours...not because we're trying to keep up with the Joneses'.

When I compare elements of my life to those of someone else's, and decide that what I have isn't good enough, I'm displaying an incredible lack of gratitude for the blessings God has given me.

That's not okay with me.
And, I'm working on it.

Check out this related article from Relevant magazine. It discusses the dangerous tendency to compare our lives to those of others, via the "perfect" images we're presented with through social media. Another area of comparison that I certainly struggle with....

Roadblocks to Maturity

Chalk it up to the change-of-perspective that motherhood brings. Or, maybe the result of too much time on my hands for pondering "life". Or, perhaps it's the result of this entering-my-late-twenties season.

In any case, I've been reflecting recently on some personal aspects of my psyche & my personality that are, by my personal assessment, less than ideal. Elements of myself that are what I'm considering to be "roadblocks to maturity" in my own life.

When I say "maturity", I'm not suggesting that it is somehow a finite goal that can be eventually reached. I don't expect to wake-up one day and declare myself "mature". I think it's a lifelong effort, similar (and related) to gaining wisdom.

To reflect on my shortcomings is challenging. A step towards greater maturity, perhaps? (And sharing them publicly, no less!) My hope in writing about these self-described shortcomings (occasionally, as I feel inclined) is that I'll be motivated to face and acknowledge these issues head-on, learning more about myself...who I am, and who I hope I am becoming.

Stay tuned.