Monday, April 2, 2012

Second Trimester Musings

I must say, I have truly enjoyed this stage of pregnancy. The second trimester is called the "honeymoon stage", and I can certainly appreciate that analogy.

I feel good. Oh, sure...there's the occasional nightly lower-back pain, and sporadic leg cramps that wake me up in the middle of the night in agonizing pain...but what's a little discomfort? It's all relative, and I'd choose those unpleasantries over nausea any day. All signs of morning sickness are long gone. Those early weeks were miserable. But, in hindsight, I can easily admit that I know how very worth it that momentary trial was, to be able to experience the joys of pregnancy that have followed. But, truly, I feel as close to "normal" as one can get these days, and it's a blessing to feel like me again...just me-with-a-new-companion!

I look pregnant now. My "baby bump" is showing nicely, and I'm enjoying looking in the mirror at my newly-round figure. Sure, the scale is displaying never-before-seen digits, but baby is growing steadily and by all accounts seems to be healthy, so the extra poundage is to be expected. I've imagined what I would like as a pregnant lady for years...and it's a delight to see my round belly underneath my shirt, versus the balloons or rubber balls I would pretend with as a child. Is that really me with the pregnant tummy?! This is what I always dreamed of!

Feeling her move is incredibly weird and wonderful. Around week twenty or so, there were "flutters", and I suspected that what I was feeling was her, but the movements were not so definitive that I couldn't write them off as other abdominal happenings. Then, I started paying attention to what I can only describe as feeling like little bubbles popping inside. Again, likely my little one, but nothing for certain. And then, laying in bed at twenty-two weeks exactly, I felt her first "hey, Mom...I'm in here!" jab. I giggled with excitement, and tried to explain the sensation to Bobby. (He's gotten to feel a few little kicks now...I'm anxious for that to happen for him more often!) I had no idea what feeling a baby move inside would feel like, and I was nervous that it would somehow feel like an upset tummy or make me sick. On the contrary...I've never felt anything so incredible. Her movements have been more and more frequent, and lately I've been able to watch "waves" go across my tummy, and then see my entire mid-section raise and lower with a couple of kicks. Talk about strange! She's in there, healthy and happy, and I love being able to feel (and now see!) her acrobatics.

I already know I'm going to miss her. There's something incredibly special about being the one to carry this child, sharing a closeness with her as she develops that no one else is able to experience. I cannot wait to hold her in my arms, but I'm keenly and increasingly aware that in a few months, I'll have to (and, get to!) share her. So, I'm cherishing these days of constant togetherness. When she's born, I'm probably going to feel a little empty inside. I know I'll be fine, that point, my heart is bound to be overflowing.